Where to go!!!!

Last few months have created a huge turmoil in my mind and I my life too. Being an introvert to the core, I have kept it all in my mind. Never really cared to cry my heart aloud to anybody. Kept ignoring things which came in my way. CAT happened. I was standing outside the school where I had to write the exam, full of confidence of making it this time. Went into the hall, was sitting on the front seat which did gave me a sign, an omen of success and made me confident that I am sitting on the winning seat and the next two n half hours will be mine and I have to bell the CAT which I am sure I will. I attempted the paper which wasn’t upto my expectations but I was sure enough that I would get atleast 3 IIM calls. I virtually tasted the success. The celebration followed with a drink or two at my fav place and a movie. The celebration was short lived until I came back and checked the answers. My heart sank. I was into tears. My preparation took a big big blow. Dad called up and was disappointed too. I was even more. I deserved success. I did all the right things. I improved my weak areas. The mistakes I committed were not mistakes, they were blunders. I cannot get a second chance. The only thing that can go in my favor is some magic. I haven’t lost all my hope yet. There were two questions that were incorrect in my set, so I may get some advantage out of it. This wasn’t my best. This was certainly not my best. If it would not materialize this time, I will have to think this is not for me and I am not made by IIMs. I wrote other exams half heartedly. I am not expecting much now and also want to remove the “regular CAT taker” mark off me.
I am working as a software engineer, a tag that hurts me every time somebody asks me what am I doing. I have to bear it. I have had no other option. Now I really want to move on.
The bigger problem: WHERE??
I have options but with a habit of procrastinating things. The options are shifting my domain to some KPO or to move to other heavy package job. I keep on saying money doesn’t matter but I know it does. It really do. Shifting to a KPO, I will be treated as a fresher even after 2 years in the industry. Shifting to a high paying job will leave me unsatisfied, being a technical job again. This is not all. Recently, I got myself interested
into psychology. I love this field but demands a post-grad degree that too from US. I cannot do that. I have commitments. Yes I have commitments.
Talking about procrastination, its really a bad habit and keeps on revolving around me 24x7. Right from getting up early in the morning to doing my work to hitting the gym.
I really want to move on. I have to. I cannot linger around any more. I cannot dawdle any more.
Come new year I am going to take a resolution to get off this shitty habit of mine. This things will be easier then. Be it a B-School, a KPO or a Techie Company.
The happy moments are yet to come. They will.
The same happy moments are procrastinating too. If I don’t, they wont.

Either I set goals for myself, or I will have to work for goal that others have set for themselves. Confused I am.

I will end up this post with the best ten 2-letter words:
“IF IT IS TO BE IT IS UP TO ME”

Cheers!!!